Brian's Dream
by Dr. Michaela Quinn
Summary: Even as much as Brian loves Dr. Mike, he still misses his Ma- Charlotte Cooper.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story takes place during Season One of **_**Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman**_** so if you remember Brian was six, Colleen was thirteen and Matthew was sixteen.**

"_Brian! Brian!" Ma called from her bed, so weak from the rattlesnake bite. Colleen and Matthew were at her side along with Doctor Mike and I was the one she was calling out for. _

_ "I'm here Ma. I'm coming." I started to walk towards the bed but for every step I took two were added to my trip. I kept walking but never caught up to Ma, but she reached out her hand. I tried to touch her hand, but stumbled to reach her._

_ "Brian." Ma whispered barely able to catch her breath._

"_Ma!" I exclaimed. I started running but the faster I ran the further away from her I got. I watched Ma close her eyes from afar and Colleen grab a hold of her and cry. Doctor Mike stood there almost in tears herself. My Ma needed my help but I was unable to help her. I failed my ma by not being there for her. _

I woke up in a cold sweat gasping for air when I realized I was in my own bed at Sully's homestead. My hands were clammy and I was covered in sweat.

"Ma!" I exclaimed. Doctor Mike, who I call Ma, rushed in and stood next to the bed. She sat on the bed next to me and tried to hug me, but I pushed her away. I needed my real ma, not her right now. I saw Colleen standing behind Ma so I jumped up, ran over to her and tightly wrapped my arms around her crying.

"Brian, what's the matter?" Colleen asked me. At first I couldn't speak. I buried my face in her nightgown and cried. Finally, I was able to speak. When Colleen looked down at me, her blonde hair fell over her shoulder and almost covered my face. She pushed it back behind her shoulder. "Brian?" She asked again.

"I had a dream. It was horrible." I said.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Colleen asked kindly and I shook my head no. "Can you go back to sleep?" She asked wiping the tears out of my eyes.

"Will you stay with me?" I was finally able to mutter.

"I'll stay with you Brian." Doctor Mike replied. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. Then I looked at Colleen and held onto her tightly.

"I want Colleen to stay with me." I replied.

"Alright." She walked back over to her bed.

"What's the matter Brian?" Colleen asked giving me the big sister look that she knows something's going on.

"I miss Ma." I whispered and Colleen helped me back into bed.

"Well so do I, but I thought you loved Doctor Mike?" Colleen asked.

"She's not Ma. I want Ma. Why did she have to die? I need her!" I cried. Colleen hugged me.

"Oh Brian, I have felt the exact same way ever since Ma died. Doctor Mike will never take Ma's place, but she's not asking to." Colleen stated.

"I know. I just want my Ma to be able to hold me and make me feel better."

"What was that dream about Brian?" Colleen smiled and rubbed my cheek.

"I… I saw Ma. She was lying in that bed. It happened all over again, but this time Ma was crying for help. But you and Doctor Mike couldn't help her. She cried out in pain. She cried out for me Colleen. But… but I couldn't reach her. I kept walking, running even, but I never got any closer to the bed." I sobbed. It felt good to be able to release some of that tension inside me.

"Brian-" Colleen hugged me. "It's not your fault Ma died. It's not Doctor Mike's either. I was mad and resentful of her for a long time, but Reverend Johnson show me that God was telling me it wasn't Doctor Mike I was mad at. I still love Ma, but nobody is to blame for her death Brian." Colleen said. I laid there for a long time before I was able to sleep. The last thing I remember was Colleen running her fingers through my hair smiling as I drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Colleen's POV**

When I woke up the next morning I had forgotten where I was. I looked down to see Brian at the foot of the bed and I realized where I was and the memory flooded back to me. Brian had a dream last night and asked me to stay with him and I fell asleep. Brian feels responsible for the death of our Ma. He's only six though. He doesn't understand things like Matthew and I do. I knew I'd have to talk to Doctor Mike and Matthew about Brian. I got up and dressed for school.

"Colleen?" I heard Doctor Mike call from the kitchen.

"Yes ma'am?" I asked before walking into the kitchen. Doctor Mike wiped her hands on a cloth.

"I need you to come to the clinic after school." She paused. "I know you had plans with Becky, but I need you today." I shrugged.

"It's alright." I smiled. "But what about Brian?"

"We'll keep an eye on him." Doctor Mike went in to wake up Brian. After breakfast, we went off to school.

"Are you alright Brian?" I asked. He looked at me and shook his head. I reached for his hand. "You know Ma's passing away wasn't your fault. There isn't anything we could have done. That snake killed her." Brian started to tear up.

"But my dream…. In my dream Ma called for me. I couldn't get to her." He started crying harder and I pulled him close to my chest.

"Don't cry Brian." We turned around and saw Doctor Mike's wagon sitting outside the clinic. She always brings us into town when she goes to the clinic.

"I don't know why I miss Ma so much when we have a ma." Brian said.

"Doctor Mike is nice, but she isn't our Ma. I miss Ma as well. Matthew and I cry over her too Brian." I stated. Brian looked up at me.

"Really? It never seems like it." Brian replied.

"I cried last night when you told me your dream." Brian nodded. We got into school just before Reverend Johnson started the morning lesson.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I rant to the clinic after school. I'd watched Brian all day and needed to talk to Doctor Mike about what to do.

"Dr. Mike!" I exclaimed when I walked into the clinic. She walked down the stairs.

"Colleen?" She looked at me with a worried expression.

"I'm worried about Brian. He feels responsible for Ma's death." I said. Doctor Mike walked over and sat behind her desk.

"Oh Colleen. That's not true. You and Brian aren't responsible for her. I feel res-" Doctor Mike stopped mid-sentence when Brian opened the door.

"I'm going to go see Mr. Bray." Brian said. Doctor Mike wiped her eyes.

"It's alright Brian." Brian walked over to her.

"Are you alright Ma?" Brian touched her shoulder. Doctor Mike nodded and laughed.

"I'm fine." Doctor Mike looked at him. "Go see Mr. Bray, Brian."

"Thanks Ma." He hugged her. "Bye Colleen!" He hollered before running outside. Brian ran into Matthew as he ran out. I laughed.

"Where was he going?" Matthew asked.

"He's going to see Mr. Bray at the store." I said.

"Brian gets along better with Mr. Bray than anybody else in this town I think." Matthew commented.

"I think it's because Mr. Bray feels like he helped raise Brian." I replied. "Who couldn't love Brian?" I asked and laughed. "We were just talking about him.

"Yes." Doctor Mike said and folded her hands on the desk. "As Brian's brother and sister I feel that you are closer to him and should talk to him. You knew your mother very well. She was the first," Doctor Mike sighed, "and the only person to accept me as a doctor in Colorado Springs. I knew her, but you knew her so much better." Matthew nodded.

"The person who should talk to Brian is Sully." Matthew stated and I nodded.

"Sully's known Brian since he was a baby. Brian looks up to Sully and I'm sure he'd listen to him." I agreed. Then I crossed my arms. "But I'll talk to him."

"We all will Doctor Mike." Matthew said. Doctor Mike smiled. We love Brian and he's having a tough time, so we'll all stick together.


End file.
